2. Today is my birthday – my own mental mark for the “start” of my goal of losing 100lbs in 2 years by my 30th birthday(the reason I started this blog). It has been a year very full of living, so I thought I’d share a bit more just in case you don’t know me in real life and you’re reading this.

Since my last birthday:

• I started(well, Aug 08) and closed an online store(closed because it was keeping me so busy – sounds weird, but it was just too much and not enough return for the time it was taking from my family)
• We moved across the country from CO to PA
• We lived in my parents’ basement with the husband and a toddler for 5 months while house hunting
• My dad had surgery for prostate cancer and had a heart attack while in the hospital for his surgery(and is now doing very well)
• We bought our first house!
• We moved into our first house.
• We ad a new baby a week later(and all of the above included hyperemesis until about 30 weeks of pregnancy and after that still regular nausea on a daily basis until he was born)
• A 2nd Birthday for my Big Girl

All of that in addition to our normal daily life. My heart and hands have been so blessed and so very full. It’s been a lot and a big part of me needing to lost weight is also me needing to focus on taking care of myself in general. Along with that has been a big swing of gain and loss. I started my pregnancy in the summer of 2008 at 264lbs. I got as low as about 235lbs. while I was pregnant because of being so sick, then by the time I delivered him(March 29, 2009) I was hovering back around 260lbs. Withing a month(end of April 2009), I was down to 237.4 when I officially started tracking my weight for Weight Watchers again. In the 6 months since then, I’m back up to close to the 265 mark. Oy.

WHAT HAVE  I BEEN DOING TO MYSELF? Seriously! I had basically the same pattern of gain/loss/gain when I was pregnant with my daughter and wound up having to have my gallbladder removed 3 months after she was born!

This is all what lead up to starting this blog. Getting down to business. Setting concrete goals for myself. 28 is going to be GREAT:) I started my day with a rainy trip to the market for a treat bagel and light cream cheese and iced coffee for breakfast, some yummy fingerling potatoes and turnips to roast and some tuna/artichoke/capers/lemon(no mayo) tuna salad for lunch. Not entirely sure that it’s low-cal, but it’s certainly nutritious and better for me than what my previous normal go-to “treat” of McD’s would have been!

This week I will: {My Goals for the Healthy You Challenge Check In}

• Write down every morsel of food that goes into my mouth.
• Go for a walk in the neighborhood twice.
• Go for a family weekend walk again.
• Go to the gym for at least 45 minutes twice.
• Buy myself some much needed new running shoes. I’ve had the same pair for almost 4 years…for real. They still look like they’re in good shape because they’ve gotten such little love, but I think that even with little love it’s time to retire them and get a new pair!

My Major Goals For the Next Year:

• Run at least one 5k
• Lose 50lbs(hopefully more, but I’m trying to be realistic and 1lb a week is slow, steady, attainable loss).

• The days when I felt like I’m getting back to my usual(let’s call them OLD for the sake of positivity)habits.
• Days where I wake up exhausted, with a sore throat and headache and a progressing cold and just want to sit on the couch and do nothing. My body is aching from being sick. {PLEASE don’t let it be the flu – I don’t want my little ones to get the flu}
• I wind up completely checking out of life.
• I get nothing done around the house.
• I spend WAY too much time online.
• I eat like crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap – junk, and too much of it.

I’ve spent entirely too many days of my life living like this(aside from the being sick part). There’s always a reason – I don’t feel well, I’m tired, I don’t feel motivated…the list goes on. The fact is, if I just get off of my rump and decide DO something, it’s amazing how easy it is to simply make a different choice. Same starting situation – different outcome. By choice.

So far today, I have:

• Stuck with hot tea and honey instead of grabbing things to eat while I relax.
• I did eat some light ice cream this morning as a snack, but I actually measured the portion and counted the points.
• I’ve done laundry, cleaned the kitchen and picked up a decent amount. I had so much on my list of things I wanted to accomplish this week, but I don’t think today is going to be the day that I make a huge dent in it.
• Even though I feel exhausted(you know that feeling – cloudy head, someone is sitting on your chest making it hard to breathe, your muscles are so sore and achy and making you want to just put your head down for a nap), we’re at least going for a short walk today. Even if it’s just to the park to let the kids play and get some fresh air.
• I’m definitely, DEFINITELY taking a nap with the 2 year old when she lays down if I can get the baby to nap at the same time.
• Soup for lunch and for dinner. Definitely on that one.

It’s all about the choices. As I was reading Marisa @ Trim The Fat’s post recapping the 5K she ran over the weekend, I was so delighted to hear the way she described it. She had icky, rainy, gloomy weather. She had a really hard time at the beginning of the race. But, she also describes it with so much amusement! She would up with a POLICE ESCORT! And she had so many people there to cheer her on! And won an award!! Best of all – she didn’t quit. I love that! The weather alone would have been such a deterrent for me and she not only finished, she ran the whole thing. Color me impressed! Go Marisa!! My favorite part is where she says,

• “It’s a great feeling to push yourself to do something and then do it.  It made me realize that the only thing stopping me from accomplishing something is ME.  Now, I know that I can do anything I set my mind to.  It’s a good feeling and I came out of the race feeling…knowing…that I will get to goal and keep this weight off for a lifetime ”

You see, one of my biggest Fitness Fantasies is just being able to run. Sounds goofy, right? What kind of fantasy is that? Slap on some sneakers and get running! It’s just never been that easy for me. It’s 150% mental. I’m well aware of that. I know, somewhere deep inside, that I’m perfectly capable of running, but I think it’s the perfectionist that gets me. Any time I’ve actually run in my life has been when I’ve been in shape(high school) and working out regularly and even then I was always the last one in the pack, huffing along. It’s this silly concept that I need to be GREAT at it. That concept has everything to do with comparing. Comparing times, capabilities, endurance. If I get myself running, who on earth cares how I compare to anyone else?? Certainly not anyone else! The hugest accomplishment at that point would be me actually starting!! The idea of doing something like a 5K and finishing, even in very last place, is so incredible that I can’t even fathom how proud I would be. How proud I WILL be. Because the only thing stopping me from putting my shoes on and getting myself moving is ME.