Losing Half, Gaining More

I had no intentions of sharing recipes on this blog, but this salad was yummy, so I thought I’d share. Especially since it’s not a “recipe,” but just a bunch of ingredients thrown together in a salad. It’s what I had around, so I thought I’d try it and it turned out to be a really great combo.

The Components:

• 1+cup baby spinach
• 1+cup arugula
• 1/8 cup sliced almonds
• 1/8 cup dried cherries
• 1/8 cup crumbled Gorgonzola cheese
• 2t red wine vinegar
• 1t olive oil

WW Points: 6

I didn’t have any mushrooms, but portabello mushrooms would have made a really fantastic earthy and mellow addition of texture to the flavors without a ton of calories/points.

I meant to take a picture to add, but I ate it and forgot.

1. I lost 1.8lbs! YAY that felt great! Especially since it was my first loss in 5 weeks!

2. Today is my birthday – my own mental mark for the “start” of my goal of losing 100lbs in 2 years by my 30th birthday(the reason I started this blog). It has been a year very full of living, so I thought I’d share a bit more just in case you don’t know me in real life and you’re reading this.

Since my last birthday:

• I started(well, Aug 08) and closed an online store(closed because it was keeping me so busy – sounds weird, but it was just too much and not enough return for the time it was taking from my family)
• We moved across the country from CO to PA
• We lived in my parents’ basement with the husband and a toddler for 5 months while house hunting
• My dad had surgery for prostate cancer and had a heart attack while in the hospital for his surgery(and is now doing very well)
• We bought our first house!
• We moved into our first house.
• We ad a new baby a week later(and all of the above included hyperemesis until about 30 weeks of pregnancy and after that still regular nausea on a daily basis until he was born)
• A 2nd Birthday for my Big Girl

All of that in addition to our normal daily life. My heart and hands have been so blessed and so very full. It’s been a lot and a big part of me needing to lost weight is also me needing to focus on taking care of myself in general. Along with that has been a big swing of gain and loss. I started my pregnancy in the summer of 2008 at 264lbs. I got as low as about 235lbs. while I was pregnant because of being so sick, then by the time I delivered him(March 29, 2009) I was hovering back around 260lbs. Withing a month(end of April 2009), I was down to 237.4 when I officially started tracking my weight for Weight Watchers again. In the 6 months since then, I’m back up to close to the 265 mark. Oy.

WHAT HAVE  I BEEN DOING TO MYSELF? Seriously! I had basically the same pattern of gain/loss/gain when I was pregnant with my daughter and wound up having to have my gallbladder removed 3 months after she was born!

This is all what lead up to starting this blog. Getting down to business. Setting concrete goals for myself. 28 is going to be GREAT:) I started my day with a rainy trip to the market for a treat bagel and light cream cheese and iced coffee for breakfast, some yummy fingerling potatoes and turnips to roast and some tuna/artichoke/capers/lemon(no mayo) tuna salad for lunch. Not entirely sure that it’s low-cal, but it’s certainly nutritious and better for me than what my previous normal go-to “treat” of McD’s would have been!

This week I will: {My Goals for the Healthy You Challenge Check In}

• Write down every morsel of food that goes into my mouth.
• Go for a walk in the neighborhood twice.
• Go for a family weekend walk again.
• Go to the gym for at least 45 minutes twice.
• Buy myself some much needed new running shoes. I’ve had the same pair for almost 4 years…for real. They still look like they’re in good shape because they’ve gotten such little love, but I think that even with little love it’s time to retire them and get a new pair!

My Major Goals For the Next Year:

• Run at least one 5k
• Lose 50lbs(hopefully more, but I’m trying to be realistic and 1lb a week is slow, steady, attainable loss).

When I really think about it, if I mirror the food I feed my 2 year old and give myself the same – I would totally lose weight and have a much healthier diet. Seriously. This little one lives on: Yogurt, Eggs, Cheese, Whole Wheat(or some sort of whole grain)Toast, Oatmeal, Peanut Butter, Fruit of any kind, Cottage Cheese, Chicken, fresh/raw veggies, Cheerios and a popsicle thrown in here and there. Obviously she eats more than just that stuff, but those are our go-to foods for her. Why am I not just feeding myself the same things that I always have around??

I wander into the kitchen mindlessly opening the fridge for something to eat and never grab the healthy options right in front of me. In the past week (or so) I’ve started grabbing these things and it’s coinciding with more exercise to create the week that I’ve felt better and more energetic than I have in literally YEARS.

Things I’ve started to grab when I want to shove something in my mouth:

-Baby Carrots

-Celery

-Pepper Strips

-A banana

-An apple

-A yogurt

Seriously, the only thing on that list that I was really eating before is the apple. I have texture issues sometimes, so I just didn’t love to eat a banana or yogurt. WHATEVER. I just told myself to get the heck over it and deal with the texture so that I’m not dealing with the “texture” of cottage cheese on my arse as a result of liking the “texture” of a McD’s cheeseburger and french fries more than a banana. Plus, it’s cheaper and I don’t have to waste gas driving to get a banana since it’s already in my kitchen.

Lesson learned.

Stats on the Progress page(I added measurements – should have started that when I initially started the info, but oh well!). I’m up 1.2lbs this week and I’m actually ok with it. I know that I wasn’t as careful as I need to be about my portions and keeping track of what I was eating. I’m also really proud of myself because although I didn’t lose on the scale, I have so many positives about the past week!

• I went to a wedding and actually made conscious decisions about the food I chose.
• I joined the gym and actually went!
• I didn’t eat fast food once. I don’t think I even went through a drive-thru window(except maybe Starbucks for a Sugar-Free/Fat-Free Cinnamon Dolce Latte;).
• I got myself a few new sports bras and t-shirts to stay motivated and not feel slobbish going to the gym(so that I can’t use that as an excuse!).
• Oh, yeah – and I started this blog!! Can I please just state for the record how much I can’t believe I was missing out on in the blogging world?? There are so so so many amazing and inspiring weight loss blogs out there and I am so glad I started searching around for them. It’s such incredible motivation and support to see how many other people are on a similar journey!
• I’m committing to signing up today for the FitBloggin Conference in March. I know I’ve just started with this blog, but this will be one more source of inspiration and something to look forward to. Anyone else already making plans to be there?

All of this and I don’t even feel completely overwhelmed – I call that a successful week!

I’ve been stalling on starting this blog.

First it was because I couldn’t(and still can’t!) get my template to install correctly.

Then it was because I needed to read and read and read other weight loss blogs.

Then it was because….I don’t even know. Except, I do. I HAVE to accept this and move forward. I want to do it positively and with joy as much as possible. It’s going to be a hard journey, but the rewards will be so much greater. So while I paused to consider eating at McD’s “one more time” this morning, I thought about having that much more to lost and stopped.

That’s where I think I’ll start.

Instead of going to McD’s(with a baby who needs a nap and a toddler with a cold, both who don’t need to go anywhere!), I started catching up on some blogs. As I was reading, I came across this post by Diane at Fit To the Finish and something in these words just touched me:

“Day after day I found myself uncovering forgotten willpower, lost self esteem, and hidden abilities. With each reclaimed ability my fat suit got a little less puffy. Even before I had lost all 150 pounds, I was able to reveal more and more of myself. I learned that even when I was all covered in fat I was the same Diane I had always been. It was a bittersweet lesson to learn, because I grieved for the missed  opportunities.  Part of the uncovering process was accepting what I had missed, and promising myself to miss no more.”
So, this is it. The part where I start to document my journey. I’m over wasting time worrying about my appearance, feeling like a slob, catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and feeling ashamed, not doing things because I don’t want to see someone I know who I haven’t seen in years, having hardly any pictures of myself with my husband and kids and family and friends because I can’t bear to look at them and I can’t bear for anyone else to even possibly see them…and so on and so on it goes as I’ve continued this upward spiral. I don’t want to miss out on a second more of the things I want to do in life.

Here’s my first attempt at stepping outside the comfort zone – a picture of me with my kids. Posted publicly for all of the world to see. The face that I don’t have many more pictures of these is just one more reason to get myself healthier.

Happy and comfortable with the two littlest ones who love me for me and don’t even have a concept of judging someone because of what they look like.