Losing Half, Gaining More

Have you seen The Buried Life on MTV? LOVE THESE GUYS!

Do you ever wonder how much of your life you waste thinking about weight? Food? Fat? Skinny? What you are or aren’t? What you should or shouldn’t be eating? Calories? What other people think about you? The size of your thigh/stomach/calf/ear/nose/arm/eyelashes? The size of other people? Celebrities? How you compare to others? What others are eating or buying or have and how you could do the same? Internalizing the images that we are constantly bombarded with on televisions and in movies and magazines and online?

What if we used that time and spent it living life? Having special conversations with loved ones? Giving kids extra hugs and extra trips to the park? Moving our bodies because it feels good? Taking deep, full breaths? Meditating?  Reading books we think we don’t have time to read? Sharing time with a friend? Trying a new hobby? Taking a long, hot shower or bath and curling up under a cozy blanket for some much-needed extra sleep instead of watching an extra hour of television? Cooking a delicious, nutritious meal that will keep you energized? Trying something new?

I’m challenging everyone reading this to make yourself a list of 101 Reasons You’re Happy Just as You Are Today - including at least 25 about your body! It doesn’t need to be public or on a blog – just grab a piece of paper and start writing. {If you’re putting it out there publicly on your blog – let me know! Send me a link and I’d love to add it to my list to share of all of the Loving Lists!}

Since I started my list, I can’t even begin to express to you how much it’s made me more aware of how much time I’m spending focused on the negative. Every time I add something to my list, I feel more and more free from wasting time worrying about such mundane things and what others think about me or my decisions and better and better about JUST LIVING LIFE – HAPPILY.

I had no intentions of sharing recipes on this blog, but this salad was yummy, so I thought I’d share. Especially since it’s not a “recipe,” but just a bunch of ingredients thrown together in a salad. It’s what I had around, so I thought I’d try it and it turned out to be a really great combo.

The Components:

• 1+cup baby spinach
• 1+cup arugula
• 1/8 cup sliced almonds
• 1/8 cup dried cherries
• 1/8 cup crumbled Gorgonzola cheese
• 2t red wine vinegar
• 1t olive oil

WW Points: 6

I didn’t have any mushrooms, but portabello mushrooms would have made a really fantastic earthy and mellow addition of texture to the flavors without a ton of calories/points.

I meant to take a picture to add, but I ate it and forgot.

Days like today are the reason that I started this blog in the first place.

• The days when I felt like I’m getting back to my usual(let’s call them OLD for the sake of positivity)habits.
• Days where I wake up exhausted, with a sore throat and headache and a progressing cold and just want to sit on the couch and do nothing. My body is aching from being sick. {PLEASE don’t let it be the flu – I don’t want my little ones to get the flu}
• I wind up completely checking out of life.
• I get nothing done around the house.
• I spend WAY too much time online.
• I eat like crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap – junk, and too much of it.

I’ve spent entirely too many days of my life living like this(aside from the being sick part). There’s always a reason – I don’t feel well, I’m tired, I don’t feel motivated…the list goes on. The fact is, if I just get off of my rump and decide DO something, it’s amazing how easy it is to simply make a different choice. Same starting situation – different outcome. By choice.

So far today, I have:

• Stuck with hot tea and honey instead of grabbing things to eat while I relax.
• I did eat some light ice cream this morning as a snack, but I actually measured the portion and counted the points.
• I’ve done laundry, cleaned the kitchen and picked up a decent amount. I had so much on my list of things I wanted to accomplish this week, but I don’t think today is going to be the day that I make a huge dent in it.
• Even though I feel exhausted(you know that feeling – cloudy head, someone is sitting on your chest making it hard to breathe, your muscles are so sore and achy and making you want to just put your head down for a nap), we’re at least going for a short walk today. Even if it’s just to the park to let the kids play and get some fresh air.
• I’m definitely, DEFINITELY taking a nap with the 2 year old when she lays down if I can get the baby to nap at the same time.
• Soup for lunch and for dinner. Definitely on that one.

It’s all about the choices. As I was reading Marisa @ Trim The Fat’s post recapping the 5K she ran over the weekend, I was so delighted to hear the way she described it. She had icky, rainy, gloomy weather. She had a really hard time at the beginning of the race. But, she also describes it with so much amusement! She would up with a POLICE ESCORT! And she had so many people there to cheer her on! And won an award!! Best of all – she didn’t quit. I love that! The weather alone would have been such a deterrent for me and she not only finished, she ran the whole thing. Color me impressed! Go Marisa!! My favorite part is where she says,

• “It’s a great feeling to push yourself to do something and then do it.  It made me realize that the only thing stopping me from accomplishing something is ME.  Now, I know that I can do anything I set my mind to.  It’s a good feeling and I came out of the race feeling…knowing…that I will get to goal and keep this weight off for a lifetime ”

You see, one of my biggest Fitness Fantasies is just being able to run. Sounds goofy, right? What kind of fantasy is that? Slap on some sneakers and get running! It’s just never been that easy for me. It’s 150% mental. I’m well aware of that. I know, somewhere deep inside, that I’m perfectly capable of running, but I think it’s the perfectionist that gets me. Any time I’ve actually run in my life has been when I’ve been in shape(high school) and working out regularly and even then I was always the last one in the pack, huffing along. It’s this silly concept that I need to be GREAT at it. That concept has everything to do with comparing. Comparing times, capabilities, endurance. If I get myself running, who on earth cares how I compare to anyone else?? Certainly not anyone else! The hugest accomplishment at that point would be me actually starting!! The idea of doing something like a 5K and finishing, even in very last place, is so incredible that I can’t even fathom how proud I would be. How proud I WILL be. Because the only thing stopping me from putting my shoes on and getting myself moving is ME.

I went to my cousins wedding in Philadelphia yesterday and had such a fantastic time.  We knew that it was in Old City, but didn’t really realize what that meant, which is sort of sad since it’s only about an hour and a half away from us! The hotel was literally half a block from the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. The wedding looked out over Independence National Historic Park and Second National Bank and in such an interesting part of the city – tons of amazing shops and restaurants. We were disappointed that we didn’t have time to spend just walking around, but having a 6 month old at home who needs his food source sort of limits longer excursions for now. This was the longest I’ve left him so far and it was still just so nice to get away for more than just a couple of hours.

The food was FANTASTIC. It also helped me to realize a few things within the context of “celebrations.”  This journey that I’ve committed to has been a long time coming. I’ve been going to Weight Watchers meeting for over 4 months now without actually really keeping track of my food. But, the fact that I’ve continued to go is a huge testament to the psychological aspect of losing weight and how I’m slowly changing. This process seems so daunting and overwhelming as a whole, but it’s the little things that I can control in a day that make me realize that I really am doing this! I really am making lots of little changes in my life, and especially in my thinking!

At the wedding, I didn’t eat perfectly by any means. But I did eat much differently than I would have in the past and that’s a really big step.

• The things that I wanted to eat that weren’t the healthiest, I took one of and just took a bite.
• If I didn’t love what I was eating after the first bite, I didn’t finish it.
• I didn’t take appetizers from servers simply because they had it in front of me.
• I didn’t try one(or more!) of everything – I chose the few things I thought I’d enjoy the most and took smaller portions of them.
• I danced about 10 times more than I otherwise would have because I knew I was burning some extra calories while having some fun.
• I also just committed to completely putting aside my normal feelings of awkward self consciousness that usually keep me from something like dancing in a social situation and it felt SO GOOD.

As a whole, I still ate much more than necessary. But I also would guess that I easily ate half as much as I may have eaten in the past and that makes me really happy. Thinking about all of this and seeing these baby steps that I am actually doing is so empowering. Believing in myself that I really can, and WILL, do this is an incredible feeling. There hasn’t been a defining/”A-HA” moment for me when I just decided that this was the point where I wasn’t turning back. I read so many weight loss success stories where people talk about the one thing that happened that flipped a switch for them, but for me it’s just been a recent consistent realization of small things that have made me realize that I truly an changing. Knowing that I can deal with each situation as it comes and take small steps to get to each thing along the way feels fantastic and it’s been a really long time since I’ve felt that about myself.

I was reading the post on Roni’s Weigh about her inspirational first marathon over the weekend and I love the info she included on Operation Beautiuful.

The concept is so simple and beautiful in and of itself that it just brought tears to my eyes. In their words, “The mission of Operation Beautiful is to post anonymous notes in public places for other women to find. The point is that WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. You are enough… just the way you are!”

It was inspired by this video and Fat Talk Free Week:

I love to see the pictures they have of notes on the Operation Beautiful site, especially this one:

I can’t wait to post some notes myself and I especially can’t wait to see all of the creative ideas everyone has in the pictures on their site!