Losing Half, Gaining More

Days like today are the reason that I started this blog in the first place.

• The days when I felt like I’m getting back to my usual(let’s call them OLD for the sake of positivity)habits.
• Days where I wake up exhausted, with a sore throat and headache and a progressing cold and just want to sit on the couch and do nothing. My body is aching from being sick. {PLEASE don’t let it be the flu – I don’t want my little ones to get the flu}
• I wind up completely checking out of life.
• I get nothing done around the house.
• I spend WAY too much time online.
• I eat like crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap – junk, and too much of it.

I’ve spent entirely too many days of my life living like this(aside from the being sick part). There’s always a reason – I don’t feel well, I’m tired, I don’t feel motivated…the list goes on. The fact is, if I just get off of my rump and decide DO something, it’s amazing how easy it is to simply make a different choice. Same starting situation – different outcome. By choice.

So far today, I have:

• Stuck with hot tea and honey instead of grabbing things to eat while I relax.
• I did eat some light ice cream this morning as a snack, but I actually measured the portion and counted the points.
• I’ve done laundry, cleaned the kitchen and picked up a decent amount. I had so much on my list of things I wanted to accomplish this week, but I don’t think today is going to be the day that I make a huge dent in it.
• Even though I feel exhausted(you know that feeling – cloudy head, someone is sitting on your chest making it hard to breathe, your muscles are so sore and achy and making you want to just put your head down for a nap), we’re at least going for a short walk today. Even if it’s just to the park to let the kids play and get some fresh air.
• I’m definitely, DEFINITELY taking a nap with the 2 year old when she lays down if I can get the baby to nap at the same time.
• Soup for lunch and for dinner. Definitely on that one.

It’s all about the choices. As I was reading Marisa @ Trim The Fat’s post recapping the 5K she ran over the weekend, I was so delighted to hear the way she described it. She had icky, rainy, gloomy weather. She had a really hard time at the beginning of the race. But, she also describes it with so much amusement! She would up with a POLICE ESCORT! And she had so many people there to cheer her on! And won an award!! Best of all – she didn’t quit. I love that! The weather alone would have been such a deterrent for me and she not only finished, she ran the whole thing. Color me impressed! Go Marisa!! My favorite part is where she says,

• “It’s a great feeling to push yourself to do something and then do it.  It made me realize that the only thing stopping me from accomplishing something is ME.  Now, I know that I can do anything I set my mind to.  It’s a good feeling and I came out of the race feeling…knowing…that I will get to goal and keep this weight off for a lifetime ”

You see, one of my biggest Fitness Fantasies is just being able to run. Sounds goofy, right? What kind of fantasy is that? Slap on some sneakers and get running! It’s just never been that easy for me. It’s 150% mental. I’m well aware of that. I know, somewhere deep inside, that I’m perfectly capable of running, but I think it’s the perfectionist that gets me. Any time I’ve actually run in my life has been when I’ve been in shape(high school) and working out regularly and even then I was always the last one in the pack, huffing along. It’s this silly concept that I need to be GREAT at it. That concept has everything to do with comparing. Comparing times, capabilities, endurance. If I get myself running, who on earth cares how I compare to anyone else?? Certainly not anyone else! The hugest accomplishment at that point would be me actually starting!! The idea of doing something like a 5K and finishing, even in very last place, is so incredible that I can’t even fathom how proud I would be. How proud I WILL be. Because the only thing stopping me from putting my shoes on and getting myself moving is ME.