I’ve been stalling on starting this blog.
First it was because I couldn’t(and still can’t!) get my template to install correctly.
Then it was because I needed to read and read and read other weight loss blogs.
Then it was because….I don’t even know. Except, I do. I HAVE to accept this and move forward. I want to do it positively and with joy as much as possible. It’s going to be a hard journey, but the rewards will be so much greater. So while I paused to consider eating at McD’s “one more time” this morning, I thought about having that much more to lost and stopped.
That’s where I think I’ll start.
Instead of going to McD’s(with a baby who needs a nap and a toddler with a cold, both who don’t need to go anywhere!), I started catching up on some blogs. As I was reading, I came across this post by Diane at Fit To the Finish and something in these words just touched me:
“Day after day I found myself uncovering forgotten willpower, lost self esteem, and hidden abilities. With each reclaimed ability my fat suit got a little less puffy. Even before I had lost all 150 pounds, I was able to reveal more and more of myself. I learned that even when I was all covered in fat I was the same Diane I had always been. It was a bittersweet lesson to learn, because I grieved for the missed opportunities. Part of the uncovering process was accepting what I had missed, and promising myself to miss no more.”
So, this is it. The part where I start to document my journey. I’m over wasting time worrying about my appearance, feeling like a slob, catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and feeling ashamed, not doing things because I don’t want to see someone I know who I haven’t seen in years, having hardly any pictures of myself with my husband and kids and family and friends because I can’t bear to look at them and I can’t bear for anyone else to even possibly see them…and so on and so on it goes as I’ve continued this upward spiral. I don’t want to miss out on a second more of the things I want to do in life.
Here’s my first attempt at stepping outside the comfort zone – a picture of me with my kids. Posted publicly for all of the world to see. The face that I don’t have many more pictures of these is just one more reason to get myself healthier.
Happy and comfortable with the two littlest ones who love me for me and don’t even have a concept of judging someone because of what they look like.
11 Responses to “Where to begin?”
I’m so glad you wrote all this down because as you progress with your journey you can look back and see where you started, and remember those two sweet motivators!
Thanks for the mention in your post. I’m glad that you found my blog and that it spoke to you. You and your children are just beautiful. When I started my journey my youngest was probably about the age of your little guy. My last 5 children have no memory of me looking any different than I do today.
You can do this. I know that sometimes getting started is the hardest step. But you’ve made that step and I congratulate you on it. One step at a time.
Take care,
Diane
[...] Original post by Losing Half, Gaining More [...]
OMG!! I can realte so much to your story. I just started a blog a week ago about my healthy journey. I wish you the best of luck! Sometimes, the best thing to go about doing things, is to just do it without planning. I’m sure you will reach your goals and do great!
I’m so proud of you for starting! I think you are already quite beautiful and I hope you find the strength and power in your body! Good luck! If you need any help or want someone to talk to you know how to reach me.
I am SO proud of you, Lillian! I cannot WAIT to follow you along your journey!
Lillian, I am so proud of you for tackling this journey! you deserve to treat yourself like the queen that you are, and taking care of your health is the best way to do that!
ack, i tried commenting from my phone, but maybe it didn’t work. sorry if you get this twice.
lillian, i am SO proud of you for taking this big step and embarking on this journey. i am excited to follow along with you. you deserve to treat yourself like a queen, and taking care of your health is a BIG part of that.
Lillian, I can’t wait to go on this journey with you from my laptop!! This is an amazing thing you are doing for yourself, your husband, and your sweet babies. All us girlies are here for your to cheer you on!! You can do it darling!
[...] let my kids eat the way I have been eating. Never. Diane pointed out to me in the comments of my first post that her youngest children don’t have any memory of her looking any different than she does [...]
I don’t know how I missed the first post…I just wanted to say you look so happy and gorgeous in that picture with your kiddos!
I don’t know what you see in that picture, but I see a beautiful kind friend and her lovely babies.